Category Archives: Spicy

Mini snack cakes – and an extra note

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First things first, as I write this, I’m eating my orc stew, from the previous Hobbit post.  It’s decent, but I still have some ways to go with the seasoning.  It’s got a nice zing to it thanks to some habanero and sriracha, but it needs a bit more body to it.  I wanted to try leaving out bay leaf, thyme, and sage, but they’re in damn near everything for a reason – the earthy flavors of the soup are quite strong on their own, and they need a good compliment.  On the other hand, using celery root instead of celery was an excellent move, particularly as the celery root itself also is texturally much like potato pieces.  Overall, it’s a decent soup that only needs a few more tweaks to be amazing.

Now, for the coming new year, I found that a local sci-fi bookstore is doing an all-night gaming event.  Can’t say no to that, right?  So I’ve been going over in my head as to what to make for that.

In terms of bold and creative, I think I’ll actually make snack cakes – just pour some cake batter onto a lined pan, and then fill them with some frosting.  It’ll be like whoopie pies… except, of course, that I’m going to try to take these to a new level.

For the cake itself, I’m thinking of a luxurious Amaretto cake.  I’m hoping it’ll be a modern spin on pandoro (that Italian cake that I see so often around this time of year), with a moistness that calls to mind good times by the fire – be it the fireplace of grandmom’s house or the hearth that you imagine your characters meet in front of in a Dungeons & Dragons game.  The goal is to be satisfying and blend many things at once – even the line between yourself and fantasy.

Along those lines, the filling is quite important.  The cheap answer would be chocolate; after all, everything’s better with chocolate.  But being experimental means going off the beaten path, so I think my filling will actually be a combination of maple syrup and fresh vanilla – powerful and bold, yet using flavors familiar and warm for everyone.  I want it to be inviting and new without alienating folks who like something traditional.

Regardless, this should be a fun way to celebrate the new year.

And finally, for those who realize who I am now – go back over everything I said.  And more importantly, what I didn’t say.  For all that you realize how I may have misled you, I never once lied.  So I hope everyone had fun, continues to follow what I have to say, and enjoy a slice of bacon cake.  You’ll see me in a better forum for non-food questions soon enough.

Fun with sauces and tentacles

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Calamari is one of the more divisive foods I’ve seen.  I remember once seeing it on a menu, mentioning it out loud, and one of my dining companions immediately launched into a diatribe against it.  ”Oh God, nobody actually likes that stuff.  People only order it to gross out the people they’re dining with.”

Of course, I responded “Well, before you interrupted me, I was thinking about ordering it.”  And, truth be told, I still did.

Calamari itself is actually not that difficult to make, once you clean it.  You just have to be careful about cooking times.  It stays tender if you cook it for about a minute, and then it turns rubbery unless you cook it for another hour.  So really, you either cook it fast or you cook it slow.

Myself, I usually like a fast preparation, but there admittedly isn’t much you can do about that.  You flash fry it, and it comes down to whether or not you breaded it or not.  That said, there is plenty of avenue to experiment with the sauces that you dip it in.

Now, some find that simple marinara is the only acceptable choice for dipping them.  I do enjoy that, but I feel like a tomato sauce is only the start of your dipping choices.  I’ve always been fond of fra diavolo sauce myself, and the extra zing that a bit of spiciness brings to the dish is always enjoyable.

 

One sauce that I’ve seen gaining popularity is sriracha – or, as my family traditionally calls it, that weak stuff with a rooster on the bottle.  Mind you, I find it tasty, but it’s a bit lacking for my taste buds.  However, I’m making it into the greatest sauce ever, at least I hope – two teaspoons of honey, one teaspoon of rice wine vinegar, and one teaspoon of sriracha.  Hoping this comes out to a sauce that’s rich, flavorful, and maybe just a tiny bit of a kick.

 

Which isn’t to say that I’m shying away from a major kick.  I’m also going to roast some habanero and serrano peppers together, and blend that with a bit of molasses and a touch of dijon mustard.  That should be for people like me, who think that the major problem with calamari is its lack of nuclear qualities.

Sadly, though, I’m not sure when this experiment will happen.  So much is going down; I don’t know when it’ll all end.  Hopefully, when it does, I’ll easily be able to chow down on tentacle fun.  Such is life, I’m afraid.

Theme meal thwarted – The Hobbit

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Sorry for the silence of late.  I was being a bit superstitious… and it turned out to not matter anyway.

There was a local store that had this great idea – it’d do a contest for dishes inspired by Middle Earth, in conjunction with the upcoming film of The Hobbit.  Perfect for me – I love Tolkien’s work, and I love to cook.  So I signed up to actually make dishes inspired by hobbits, dwarves, and orcs.

And then the contest got canceled because only one other person signed up.  Sigh.

I hadn’t talked about it until now because I thought that I’d either jinx it by discussing it online or possibly give someone ideas to compete against me.  Well, little fear of that now.  So, here were my thoughts.

Orcs – Black heart stew

Truth be told, there’s not a very wide discussion of orcish dietary habits in any of the books.  The closest I have to any of that would be the fiery drink that they used on Pippin and Merry to get them up and marching in The Two Towers.

Enough for me to work with.

I was going to make a spicy soup – allow spicy peppers to steep in beef stock for 24 hours.  I was probably going to use dried ancho chilies, because I don’t think too many folks besides myself are going to give the ghost pepper a chance (oh, the stories I have).  To go with that, I was going to add cumin, bay leaf, and sage to the seasoning mix to give a rich and powerful kick to it.

With this broth, my hope was to combine it with black lentils and black mushrooms.  These would serve to both give further body to the soup as well as serve as a nice thematic component.

Dwarves – mountain potatoes

Thinking about it, the dietary habits of a species of sentient creatures that live primarily in mountain caves are more than a bit limited.  While there certainly is a biome that can support life, much of what a dwarf would have access to is pretty limited without trade.  And I was thinking that the most famous story about dwarves by Tolkien involved dwarves who were refugees and thus probably stuck eating what was native.

To be honest, I think mushrooms are a bit too cliche, plus I honestly don’t know just how well mushrooms grow in high mountains and mines – since they typically need moisture to grow, it seemed like a more sea-level food.  However, various types of edible taproots and culinary herbs do grow in mountainous terrain.

With that said, I imagine a good side dish for dwarves that would be extremely native would involve potatoes, sage, rosemary, thyme, and lavendar – all very tasty in combination as well as capable of growing heartily in mountainous regions.  They’d have to be tossed in some kind of fat – I bet the traditional dwarven method would be rendered goat or sheep fat. That said, olive oil would be tastier, vegetarian, and olives can grow in pretty hearty areas as well.

Hobbits – Cherry mead cake

I do make tons of different foods, but I will always admit to having a weakness for experimenting with different kinds of cake.  Also, given their dietary habits, if anyone could appreciate a soft and rich cake in Middle Earth, it would be those irrepressible hobbits.

In this case, I would start with a spice cake base.  Hobbits strike me as the sort that would just swoon at the scent of freshly ground cloves, grated nutmeg, powdered allspice, and any other spice that would make a spice cake stand out.

 

Also, I think that the spice mix goes quite well with mead.  Of course, I had to make this a booze cake, and while plenty of drinking of all sorts happens in the story, a strong yet sweet honey mead is the one that I always come back to when I imagine hobbits.  I think the combination of the two would be fabulous.

Also, I would include cherries in two steps.  One, I would take dried cherries and mix them into the cake batter.  I don’t have a good story reason as to why (a classic carrot cake really does seem like something hobbits would make and eat), but I thought it’d be a bit more playful and unexpected, which is always what Tolkien showed with them.

Also, I would add a bit of cherry juice to the frosting.  Making a basic cherry simple syrup, I’d add just a touch to a good cream cheese frosting, in order to give it a light but unmistakable complimentary cherry flavor.  A good finish to a hearty meal.

I will eventually make this, but probably not for at least a week.  While I didn’t do any experiments over Thanksgiving, I did make a ton of classics.  I have a lot of leftovers to clear.

Making Hell freeze over

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I will admit proudly that I’m a pepperhead.  I’m a spicy food fan.  I’ve done all sorts of spicy food challenges, culminating in eating the pulp and seeds of three smoked ghost chilies in a single gulp.  That was easily one of my top five favorite flavors ever, between the smoky hues, the savory texture, and the graceful floral notes… followed by friends taking bets as to whether or not I’d lose consciousness as intense pain combed my body.  It was at least a half hour before I stopped being in unending agony… and I’d do it again in a heartbeat.

So, a couple friends and I are currently devising a way to make an all-spicy full dinner, with varying ways to bring the pain.  And I think I’ve figured out dessert – balsamic blackberry habanero sorbet.

Now, it has to be a sorbet, because the fats in ice cream actually soothe away the capsacin in the peppers, making it much less spicy (which is why ice cream and milk are both recommended for calming from over-peppering).  If I want this dessert to be “ice on fire,” I have to make it a sorbet.

I had plenty of fruits I could choose from, but I picked blackberries because it was just the right combination of sweet, tart, and its own distinct flavor.  Also, admittedly, I think raspberries are way overdone.  Beyond that, I also wanted to include some of the complex flavors of a good balsamic vinegar in there – plus, as a bonus, the vinegar helps break down the blackberries and the habanero for better blending.

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Recipe:

2 pints blackberries

4 habanero peppers

1/4 cup balsamic vinegar

1/2 cup sugar

First, remove the stems and seeds from the habanero peppers.  Slice into thin strips.  Place all of the ingredients into a small saucepan.  Heat all of the ingredients of low-medium heat, stirring regularly.  When the mixture starts to bubble, gently begin crushing the blackberries with your stirring spoon.

After about 15 minutes, remove from the heat.  Allow to cool for a couple of minutes, then place the mixture in a refrigerator for about an hour.

Take the cooled mixture and blend it.  From there, pour the mixture through a fine mesh strainer to remove the blackberry seeds.  Occasionally pour a tiny amount of water (no more than a teaspoon at a time) into the strainer to get extra mixture through the strainer.

Pour the strained mixture into an ice cream/sorbet maker and run the usual amount of time. Best if served about an hour after making it.

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The above recipe scales well, and it’s moderately spicy.  Folks who think it’s too spicy will want to pick a less spicy, yet still flavorful pepper like the sarrano or the jalapeno.  Folks who think it’s weak can include the seeds when they boil the mixture together, include more habaneros, or just try a spicier pepper (like the ghost chili previously mentioned).  Other fruits can be used as well, although some water (about 1/2 cup per pint of fruit) will have to be added for some tougher fruits (like strawberries) to make sure it doesn’t just produce a burnt syrup.